Couples & 7PartSelf

“My partner and I are interested in improving our relationship together as we grow old. Can you give me a detailed explanation of how 7PartSelf model can help us as a couple to grow together?”

Absolutely! The 7PartSelf model can provide a comprehensive framework for understanding and enhancing your relationship. By recognizing and working with the different aspects of the human Self, you and your partner can cultivate a deeper connection, improve communication, and support each other's growth. Here’s how each part of the model can contribute to your relationship:

1. Somnium Nexu (Dream Connection)

   • Function: Provides access to collective signs and symbols of humanity, connecting personal and collective dreams.

   • Application: Share your dreams and aspirations with each other. Discuss your individual and shared goals, and explore how your dreams can align to create a mutual vision for the future. This fosters a sense of unity and shared purpose.

2. Fulcrum of Identity

   • Function: Balances and integrates all parts of the Self around consciousness and identity.

   • Application: Understand and respect each other's identities. Recognize that each of you is a unique individual with your own experiences and perspectives. Work on integrating your identities in a way that respects both individuality and togetherness.

3. Hic Sum (Here I Am)

   • Function: Purely neurological realm, inner workings.

   • Application: Reflect on your personal history and how it shapes your current behaviors and reactions. Share your stories with each other to build empathy and understanding. Recognize patterns from your past that may influence your relationship and work together to address them.

4. Fit Mihi (It Happens to Me)

   • Function: Sensory realm, outer world stimulus.

   • Application: Pay attention to how external stimuli affect each of you. Be mindful of how your environments and experiences influence your moods and interactions. Create a supportive and nurturing environment that considers both your sensory needs.

5. Internal Stimulus

   • Function: Inner realm, discriminatory boundary inside the skin.

   • Application: Acknowledge and respect each other’s internal emotional states. Develop skills to manage your own internal stimuli and support each other in times of emotional distress. Practice active listening and validate each other’s feelings.

6. External Stimulus

   • Function: Outer realm, discriminatory boundary outside the skin.

   • Application: Navigate external challenges together. Communicate openly about how external factors (such as work, family, and social obligations) impact your relationship. Develop strategies to support each other in managing external stressors.

7. Ecce Me (Behold Me)

   • Function: Observable behavior generated by the Self.

   • Application: Focus on your behaviors and actions within the relationship. Encourage and reinforce positive behaviors that strengthen your bond. Be mindful of how your actions affect each other and strive to act in ways that promote mutual growth and happiness.

Practical Steps to Enhance Your Relationship Using the 7PartSelf Model:

1. Regular Communication: Schedule regular check-ins to discuss your dreams, goals, and any challenges you are facing. This helps in aligning your Somnium Nexu and ensures you are working towards a common vision.

2. Shared Activities: Engage in activities that strengthen your Fulcrum of Identity. These could be hobbies, travels, or projects that you both enjoy and that help you grow together.

3. Story Sharing: Spend time sharing stories from your past (Hic Sum) to build deeper empathy and understanding. This can be done through dedicated ‘storytelling’ nights where you take turns sharing significant experiences.

4. Mindful Environment: Create a living environment that is pleasant and conducive to both your sensory preferences (Fit Mihi). This could include setting up a cozy home space or planning outings that you both find enjoyable.

5. Emotional Support: Develop emotional support strategies (Internal Stimulus) such as being there for each other during tough times, practicing active listening, and providing validation and reassurance.

6. External Stress Management: Identify external stressors (External Stimulus) and work together to manage them. This could involve setting boundaries with work, planning regular relaxation activities, and supporting each other’s social and family commitments.

7. Behavioral Reflection: Reflect on your behaviors (Ecce Me) and discuss how they impact your relationship. Celebrate positive behaviors and work on changing those that may be detrimental.

By actively engaging with each aspect of the 7PartSelf model, you and your partner can foster a relationship that is deeply connected, supportive, and conducive to mutual growth as you age together.